Extramarital Affairs
by Nicole Wyatt
CBS 42 News
2008-05-12 20:00:00.0
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From problems in the marriage to unfulfilled needs, cheaters have their reasons for doing what they do. So we set out to find out more about cheaters; how they do it, and if they get away with it, but more importantly its effect on a relationship.
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Extramarital cheating…sometimes it seems like no one is faithful anymore, an opinion shocking to all the people who honor their vows and respect their marriages.
Although it's a tough thing to measure, people are inclined to either deny or brag. Scientific surveys indicate at least 25% of husbands and 17% of wives have sex outside their marriage. Throw in emotional involvements and a certain ex-president’s definition of what constitutes sex, and the numbers go way higher.
CBS42.com took a decidedly unscientific web poll (click here to check out or take part in our poll) asking men and women who had affairs to answer a series of questions. Marriage counselor Dr. Bill Krug helps us understand the responses.
Our respondents indicate women are more likely than men to have affairs with co-workers.
"It does frequently start with someone who starts as a friend. Starts as somebody you see everyday, you start confiding in them and usually that confidence begins to overstep bounds," said Krug.
Another, perhaps surprising finding is more women than men claimed multiple affairs. Maybe this accounts for the discrepancy between percentages of men and women admitting to extramarital activity. Almost no one confessed. They say confession is good for the soul, and in this case Krug agrees.
"Most cases it gives you the opportunity to restore the trust, to begin to rebuild a relationship from scratch," said Krug.
Bottom line, regarding the survival of a marriage due to an affair, Dr. Krug says, "It can be a very hard thing to recover from, but it is possible. The answer is yes, it's possible and in fact it's possible if the person is willing to change, the one who had the affair."
Dr. Krug says it takes more than just the cheater changing to keep the marriage together. Of course the faithful spouse must be willing forgive. From this point it takes starting from scratch to rebuild once again.
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