For Parents: Dealing with Puppy Love
CBS 42
2008-02-14 08:29:10.0
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Parental Advice for Teen Dating
Donna Parker, Safe Harbor
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Do not rush your child into growing up. Their youth is the only innocent time they will have. Let your child enjoy the carefree days of childhood.
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Do not label your young child’s opposite-sex friends as boy/girl friends. At an early age children often learn from their parents that being noticed by the opposite sex is supposed to be exciting. This teaches children to strive for that “special” attention.
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Delay dating. Studies show, the earlier the dating experience, the earlier the sexual experience. In addition, early dating or boy/girl relationships rob children of valuable time and opportunity to learn how to develop friendships with same-sex friends. Often times when youth “go together,” they exclude same sex friends. Break-ups are devastating and they find their friends have long since left them to develop other friendships.
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Limit and monitor television shows, movies, music, books, and Internet. Today’s entertainment industry is mainly geared toward relationships, sex, and dating. Such “entertainment” will prompt pre-teens and young teens into areas they are not emotionally mature enough to handle. Instead, involve your children in sports, dance, art, church and community.
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Always meet the person that your teen is dating or intending to date. Encourage time spent at your home, under supervision. Make sure both teens know what you as a parent expect. Keep strict curfews and dress codes; too much time alone only encourages intimacy and familiarity that facilitate early sexual involvement. Encourage/require group dating. This allows your child to be in the company of that special someone without being along.
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Limit time on the phone, Internet and texting of boy/girlfriend. Long hours on the phone promotes familiarity. Emotional intimacy is often followed by physical intimacy.
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Breakups and heartaches are going to happen. Be prepared. Do not minimize their pain. This is the time to listen. Your youngster will talk through their pain. Limit advice to sharing your own past.
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